A bleeding head story

I haven't come through on my promise for more ER stories yet, so here's one.

EMS wheels in a gurney with a guy strapped to it. Lac to the top of the head and he's really drunk. As many people know, cuts on the head bleed a lot. This guy's hair is dyed red and gummy from the blood. His face is streaked with it. He'd look fantastic lying on the ground in a war movie or lurching about in a zombie flick. And yet, he's fine. No need to send up a pint from the blood bank.

For no good reason, the rest of this will be in Q&A format.

How did he split his scalp open?

He got drunk, started showing off, and fell down.

Why was he drunk?

He was at a bachelor party.

For who's wedding?

His.

Really?

Oh yes.

When is the wedding?

In three days.

Wow.

Yeah.

He's going to look awfully funny in the wedding photos isn't he?

Well, before the stitches get put in, his hair is going to be trimmed all around the laceration. So unless hairstyles change radically in the next couple of days, yes he's going to look funny.

Of course, there may not be any wedding photos once his fiance gets wind of this.

At least we'll have a chart started if she's sends him back our way ball-less or something.