Friday, December 02, 2005

Fruit bats are resevoirs of bleeding eyeball disease

Fruit bats! You are so adorable but, as recently discovered, three species of you carry the Ebola virus. To you, it is nothing. To humans, chimpanzees, and gorillas, it means severe flu-like symptoms and then bleeding out of the ears, mouth, and eyes. At least until death, and probably for a little while after.

I can't blame you hammer-headed fruit bat, Franquet's epauletted bat, and flying fox. You were just going about your business, eating fruit and hanging upside-down. It's our fault for eating you.

Damn those Monty Python boys and their fake scripture, "And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and large chu--" It's only a matter of time before we find out that excessive Spam consumption causes Jumping Frenchmen of Maine disorder.

Pictures of all three bat species. The hammer-headed fruit bat is particularly weird and cool.

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  1. Hilarious. Also, my mother is considering setting up a bat house in their backyard. Maybe she should rethink that? I know the whole bat/hair thing is a myth, but I was still hoping for a humorous "meet cute" between a bat and my sister's Rapunzelian hair. But if Ebola is involved...

  2. Remember the fun bats we saw at the DC zoo? they were cute; i haven't been back there since i last saw you!

  3. American bats are fine rampy, and they eat lots of annoying bugs. Your sister should totally prank your mom by running into the house with numerous rubber bats in her hair.

    Fieri, you've taken me back to the bats, pandas, and otters. Of course you haven't been back, you never would have gone the first time without a tourist friend! Have more fun, I insist.

  4. I can't have fun without you - it's not possible!

    altho now that panda has multiplied, perhaps I should go check out the progeny.