Monday, July 31, 2006

How would you behave?

A multiple choice question:

You want me to pay attention to you. How would go about it?

A) Ostentaciously clear your throat
B) Broadly gesticulate
C) Say, "Excuse me. Might I have a moment of your time?"
D) Break the plastic cover of a ceiling-mounted fluorescent light, then hold a piece of it to your neck

If you answered D, than you are very much like a patient I took care of recently. I admit the question was vague, what I should have asked is:

I've spent the day mostly looking after just you. It's getting close to bedtime and you are resisting the fact that the communal dayroom closes at night. After a sequence of pleading, bargaining, and threats from you, I conclude that this behavior is attention-seeking and inappropriate. I tell you, "You don't have to go to sleep, but you need to go to your room and be respectful of the other patients trying to get to bed." Then I disengage and walk away. How will you get me to pay attention to you?

Put that way, what other answer could it possibly be but D? Such is the logic of the troubled I guess.

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