What's funny when you work in an ER

A few co-workers and I were discussing a patient that had apparently taken off before being discharged. She's a regular in the ER, either as a patient herself or accompanying one of her fellow homeless, drug-using friends. We were talking about how to handle her registration when a nurse well-acquainted with this patient stuck his head in, listened for a moment, and said,

"If she's the last woman on Earth and I'm the last man, that's it. History is over. I'm playing with myself until I die."

Then we all laughed and laughed and laughed. Have I mentioned that a dark sense of humor is practically obligatory when working in an ER?

One time the med staff and I were waiting for EMS to come in with a kid who'd fallen off his skateboard and hit his head. Of course he wasn't wearing a helmet. We were just standing around when one of the Spanish translators came in saying,

"Somebody call me?"

To which the doctor replied, "No, but we might need someone who speaks head trauma a little later."

Then we all laughed and laughed and laughed. Yeah, we're sick bastards.


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