Thursday, February 22, 2007

Nursing Student convention 2007

I’m at the Texas Nursing Student Association convention in Galveston for the next several days. The convention business itself is fairly dry, but it’s to fun go on a trip with my school friends where I’m only paying for food and entertainment. From the 2005 and 2006 conventions, I’ve developed a reputation for three things:

1. Taking unflattering photos of my schoolmates,
2. Offering money to my friends to do entertaining things,
3. Eviscerating poorly thought out, badly worded resolutions being considered by TNSA convention delegates

To illustrate:

Pretty lady don't fret

2. I have offered someone $10 to drink half a bottle of malt vinegar. For $20 plus costs, I encouraged a large guy to walk into Baby Gap and put something on forcibly overcoming the size issue.

3. I did not see it because I was walking up to the mic, but I’m told that whenever I did so, my schoolmates would freak a little because they were excited/concerned about the articulate smackdown coming. Seriously y’all, some of these resolutions were ridiculous and needed to be taken apart in an entirely rational manner. I have been accused of being mean by delegates from other schools, but that’s just an ad hominem attack because they had no counter-argument. So … shut up.

The common format for resolutions (sensible and otherwise) includes a
resolved statement stating that the resolution – if passed – be sent to a variety of different organizations. A sort of heads up on what we’re doing. I was thinking how great it would be if I wrote an absolutely serious, cogent resolution that then requested that it be sent to, multi-Olympic Gold medalist Bonnie Blair, Prince, and whoever turns out to be the father of Anna Nicole Smith’s daughter.*

*thanks to Matt, the co-writer of this thought

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