Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Weezer was at least partly right

Some of us are on drugs. I don't take pleasure in the often debilitating drug habits of others, but damn sometimes it makes me giggle in dark region of my heart.

A few more quotes overheard at the hospital:

Patient says to the doctor, "Please don't take my Ambien away. Please! I won't abuse it. I promise. Just give me one. Okay two."

Patient to nurse trying to give him pain medication, "Pills?! If I wanted pills, I would have bought them on the street. I need a shot. And I am not a drug-seeker."

Patient to doctor, "I'm not a crack addict. I just started smoking it last week."

Nurse to patient, "Are you taking any medications on a regular basis?"
Patient hands nurse his list: 140 tabs Lotensin†, 5 coricedin†† (sic), 3 Aleve, 2 doses night quill (sic), 12 24oz beers, crack - I don't know how much, and 2 Tylenol PM.

He'd almost have to smoke crack to offset all the depressants he's taking, though he really should keep track of his dosage. Maybe he should get one of these:

† Lowers blood pressure
†† Coricidin Cough & Cold, also known as Triple C, is sometimes taken recreationally which can seriously fuuuck you up to and including death

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1 comment:

  1. It's an interesting solution, but I worry that the "night quill" would slosh around the little compartments and make the crack all sticky.