Now I've learned my ABCs

I spent all day up at the nursing school in CPR training class. It's a requirement for entering the upper-division sequence and rightly so. Healthcare workers take a more intensive form of the class, hence the eight hour length and my classmates and I were lucky to have a fellow nursing student as an instructor. Her stories and explanations were great.

Of course we covered the ABCs (airway, breathing, circulation), proper execution of CPR, and choking rescue, but also the use of automated external defibrillators. Those things are rad. In addition, I also learned a couple unexpected things today.

First is that a person with no pulse who isn't breathing is dead. We, the general public, like to think of a person who just slipped into this state as alive yet in serious trouble. Nope, they're dead. This is the basis for idea that when trying to bring this person back, there isn't much you can do to make them worse off. It's why cracking ribs while performing chest compressions is perfectly acceptable.

The second interesting thing is that the Heimlich maneuver, as a name, is losing ground in favor of "choking rescue". A quick on-line search reveals that Dr. Heimlich might have stolen the idea from a colleague, and that he definitely engaged in gross ethical violations by injecting malarial blood into patients with HIV in secret medical "trials" held outside the US. So associating a wonderful life-saving measure with a total wackjob (whose own son is a leading critic)? Maybe not so much.

Doonesbury on consumptive Creationism

I'm not a regular reader of Doonesbury anymore, but I happened to see last Sunday's strip posted on a professor's door and Gary Trudeau is still brilliant.



It's similar to the argument I have used against Creationist hypocrisy, but in Trudeau's hands it's succinct, pointed, and laugh-out-loud funny. Just as there are supposedly no atheists in foxholes, there are few stick-to-their-principles Creationists in doctors' offices.

What really put it over the top for me is that I just took my pharmacology final last Friday and tuberculosis meds were on it. Streptomycin for TB, ludicrous!

New Wave Dance Party

(Click the pic for more photos)

To celebrate the end of my toughest semester so far, I threw a dance party. Many, many fantastic songs were played and there was dancing, drinking, and the consumption of salty snacks.

First prize in the unofficial Attitude of the Night contest is Carole. Seriously y'all, she will totally stab you.



My other favorite image of the night is Eric, the Sad Popcorn Hoarder.

The Daily Show on the formerly craven Ford Motor Company

You might have heard that Ford Motor Company, bowing to pressure from a rather nasty conservative "family" group, is pulling initially planned to pull its ads from gay magazines. Ridiculous. Why is Ford worried about this group boycotting them? The same group was rebuffed by Disney and Kraft; they called off the Disney boycott after 9 years because it didn't work.

Thankfully, The Daily Show covered the issue in their inimitable style. Jon Stewart explained from which magazines Ford was pulling their ads, "The publications include The Advocate and OUT. Not affected are Mandate, Honcho, Black Inches, Latin Inches , Torso, Blueboy, Playguy, All Man, and of course, Gaywad McGee's Scrotum Lovers Quarterly."



"Actually, umm, I umm, I should add that last one's really more of a trade magazine, for connossieurs of scrotums."

Thanks Jon & Company, you make me laugh about something that previously sent my blood pressure North. Crooks & Liars has video for the whole segment.

I debated whether to actually provide links to all the porn mags, but it was so easy - almost every one was the top hit on Google, not that Black Inches was a big surprise - and figured the cheap thrill trumped good taste. They're all kinda safe for work, depending on how your boss feels about your computer displaying a naked guy with a big yellow words obscuring his crotch.

UPDATE: As Americablog reports, Ford backed off on pulling it's ads and even stated that they would tailor them for gay consumers (I assume that means attractive homo couples sitting it their cars).

American Analog Set and an offer easy to resist

Great night out Sunday night. I went to the American Analog Set show with MyBloodySelf and Jennifer despite my looming tests because it was rumored to be their last one ever. Near the beginning of the show, frontman Andrew Kenny guilelessly said, "Thanks for coming, it's been a long fall." Laughter all around since most everyone had heard the retirement rumor. "Oh. I should have said Autumn."

There was a total asshole near us constantly hoisting his drinks and yelling thinks like, "Whooo! You rock!" He was clearly a big fan (he knew most of the words), so why was he behaving this way for one of the most sedate, non-rockin bands ever? It would be like standing up during a Tchaikovsky performance and screeching, "Yeah, Scherzo a la russ & Impromptu in Eb Minor! I love this one. Whooo!"

Despite the jerk, it was an amazing show. They played beautifully and the flow of songs was perfectly paced. I don't think I've ever seen them so relaxed and confident. Near the end of the show, Andrew took some time to thank Austin for being their home and so good to them over the years. Hard to imagine I've been seeing them for over a decade. Some of the kids with Xs on their hands were still in elementary school when Amanset in started.

On the way home, we drove down Guadalupe past the UT campus. At a light, a cab full of college-age girls stopped and one of them slurringly invited us to a party. It was 1:45 AM. We demurred, Dan saying that he had to get up in the morning. She was persistant saying it was going to be great or off the hook or whatever the kids are saying these days. I offered that we were too old for them. The light changed and she made a last ditch effort, "They'll be naked poontang!"

Whoo-boy was she off-base. Our car? Two gay men and a straight woman. Uproarious laughter ensued. As the cab pulled away Jennifer yelled out the window, "You got the wroooong guys for naked poontang."

When I got home, I watched a little TV and heard this gem from David Cross (dripping with irony) on Comedy Central's Last Laugh 2005, "I'm not opposed to gay marriage, because I'm tolerant and rational. So it doesn't bother me?"

I take it all back, Austin cold weather freakout-itude

Pure, unadulterated joy is such a great feeling.

Earlier today I was in the old UT main library studying with a friend for our exam tonight and the one tomorrow morning. Ugh. Then, a wondrous voice came over the PA system announcing that UT was closing and would remain closed until 10 AM tomorrow. All classes until then are cancelled because there will be some freezing drizzle tonight.

The library came alive with beaming faces and muffled cries of excitement. It was so cool to see how happy everyone was. My friend and I gathered up our notes and walked across campus to her car, smiling and laughing all the way.

Now, after studying so much last night, I get to take a nap as soon as I post this. Hoorah for overly cautious school administrators! Of course, shortly after I got home there were emails about rescheduling the tests for next week. But still.

UPDATE: UT cancelled class all day today (12/8) too! So that's a class presentation and another test postponed until Monday and Tuesday. Thank you UT, you've procrastinated for me. Usually I'd have to clean the bathroom and vacuum the house instead of studying to achieve this level of delay.

Stereotype unflinchingly maintained

Yesterday morning some fellow nursing students and I helped Project Transitions set up for their annual Holiday Swing fundraiser. Among the silent auction items were these three:

GAY


Try me? Uh...

GAYER

Purple. Feathered. Mirror.

(one of the) GAYEST (things I've ever seen)

I fear this will haunt my dreams.

A day outside

Today I went with some friendly friends to take nature pictures. We were prevented from going to Bright Leaf by a locked gate, so we went to Wild Basin Preserve instead. It was rather brown with just a few splashes of red and yellow; Texas doesn't have many native species that sport interesting fall colors. Also it was hot. In December. Still, we had fun and enjoyed lunch after a bracing hike.



Better fall colors were to be found in my neighbor's yard.

Fruit bats are resevoirs of bleeding eyeball disease

Fruit bats! You are so adorable but, as recently discovered, three species of you carry the Ebola virus. To you, it is nothing. To humans, chimpanzees, and gorillas, it means severe flu-like symptoms and then bleeding out of the ears, mouth, and eyes. At least until death, and probably for a little while after.

I can't blame you hammer-headed fruit bat, Franquet's epauletted bat, and flying fox. You were just going about your business, eating fruit and hanging upside-down. It's our fault for eating you.

Damn those Monty Python boys and their fake scripture, "And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and large chu--" It's only a matter of time before we find out that excessive Spam consumption causes Jumping Frenchmen of Maine disorder.

Pictures of all three bat species. The hammer-headed fruit bat is particularly weird and cool.


Tags: Fruit Bats, Ebola, breakfast cereals