Friday, February 23, 2007

How to make money with only slight dairy-related regrets

Yesterday after the convention convened for the day, we waited 90 minutes to check in to our hotel (fun!) and then I went to the gym of a different hotel. A short nap and a can of Sparks later, I went with my schoolmates to dinner at a decent seafood restaurant. The blackened redfish and crab bisque I had were delicious. What I ended the meal with, not so much.

As I posted on 2/22, I regularly bet friends money that they won’t do entertaining things. The bet last night was the rapid consumption of all the condiments that came with a baked potato: chives, a kind of Hollandaise sauce, sour cream. The person I bet wouldn't take it, but then the bet was turned back on me by others.

For $15, I did it.

Worth $15? Yes.
Complete photo documentation can be found on my Flickr stream.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Nursing Student convention 2007

I’m at the Texas Nursing Student Association convention in Galveston for the next several days. The convention business itself is fairly dry, but it’s to fun go on a trip with my school friends where I’m only paying for food and entertainment. From the 2005 and 2006 conventions, I’ve developed a reputation for three things:

1. Taking unflattering photos of my schoolmates,
2. Offering money to my friends to do entertaining things,
3. Eviscerating poorly thought out, badly worded resolutions being considered by TNSA convention delegates

To illustrate:

Pretty lady don't fret

2. I have offered someone $10 to drink half a bottle of malt vinegar. For $20 plus costs, I encouraged a large guy to walk into Baby Gap and put something on forcibly overcoming the size issue.

3. I did not see it because I was walking up to the mic, but I’m told that whenever I did so, my schoolmates would freak a little because they were excited/concerned about the articulate smackdown coming. Seriously y’all, some of these resolutions were ridiculous and needed to be taken apart in an entirely rational manner. I have been accused of being mean by delegates from other schools, but that’s just an ad hominem attack because they had no counter-argument. So … shut up.

The common format for resolutions (sensible and otherwise) includes a
resolved statement stating that the resolution – if passed – be sent to a variety of different organizations. A sort of heads up on what we’re doing. I was thinking how great it would be if I wrote an absolutely serious, cogent resolution that then requested that it be sent to, multi-Olympic Gold medalist Bonnie Blair, Prince, and whoever turns out to be the father of Anna Nicole Smith’s daughter.*

*thanks to Matt, the co-writer of this thought

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Into the bone

Last week in our pediatric lecture class, the instructor showed us the equipment used for intraosseous access. Everyone knows about intravenous (IV) access, but IO is so much cooler. Rather than using a vein to infuse fluids, a bone is used instead. It seems bizarre to jab a needle into a femur or sternum, but bone is highly vascularized and fluids infused by that route rapidly enter the bloodstream. Also, bone doesn’t collapse or roll like veins can, and studies show that there is no increased risk of infection. Right now, IO access is used in critical cases where immediate fluid resuscitation is required.

I’ve seen a child come into the ICU by helicopter transport with an IO line that was started by the flight nurse. It works pretty much like an IV. The needle with attached catheter is inserted and the metal guide known as a stylus is removed. The tubing is hooked up and it’s ready to go.

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Sunless exercise or Older folks are weird with the walking way early

It’s just a fact of nature I suppose that older people rise early and do things like go for walks. There are several such people in my neighborhood. Six in the awful, wicked, deplorable AM and they are out there with walking stick, golf club, or baseball bat (yes really, and no it’s not a crime-ridden area).

As I left for my Monday morning clinicals the past two semesters, I always saw at least one. I’d just wave and drive past, internally shaking my head at the folly of elders. To think they’ve lived this long and don’t yet know that one should be fast asleep in bed at 6 AM. Or at least slinking home after an ill-advised “sleepover”.

Weird wacky bunch all I said, until I saw the 5 AM walker. Yes, a small gentleman with a sweatband striding around the neighborhood at 5 AM happy as you please. A hearty “Good morning!” as I drove past on my way home (from work, not sex). Total mental case. Maybe military.

So then one night/morning I’m getting out of my car at 4:07 AM after an emergency trip to Whataburger, when I see it. A walker. I say “it” because no human could possibly be out getting some fresh air at 4 AM. Clearly this is an It. An It in the form an old man striding, striding I say, down the street. The only only only thing keeping me from running after him, I mean It, for a vigorous interrogation was my attire: non-descript grey shirt, pajama pants, bare feet. Perfectly fine when making an emergency trip for pancakes, distinctly unsuited for confronting a possible alien who – let’s face this gimmick is starting to get a bit thin – is really just an old guy walking around at an ridiculous time of night/morning.

I’ll post an update with more details when the stars align and I am up at 4 AM, outside my house, and reasonably dressed.

Friday, February 16, 2007

Live Earth

I want to go to the Live Earth concert in Antarctica. That would be cool right? Both literally and figuratively. Maybe a ice shelf would calve off at the climax of a particularly awesome song therefore highlighting the danger of global warming in a very pump-your-fist-and-shout-yeah kind of way.

Perusing the band list, it's obvious that Snow Patrol should play in Antarctica. Though I don't particularly care for them and I understand that it is often too cold to snow there.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Apples to Apples

I went to mybloodyself's house after work and joined in on a game of Apples to Apples. It's incredibly easy to learn and great fun, especially if you know your friends well.

I won a game and I'm most proud that I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that Joolie would pick my card to match with Glamorous. Because really what's more glamorous than a Festering Wound?

And thank your lucky stars that I didn't post a picture, though if you insist, go here.

Monday, February 05, 2007

Little babies with tubes

Today was my first day of pediatric clinical. As in previous semesters, I'll spend a day or two of the week at a hospital caring for a patient. My first patient was a month-old baby with a probable obstructed bowel. Adorable, even with the distended belly and nasogastric tube suctioning green bile into a canister.

Mom was ever-present and sweet, which was just annoying. I mean come on, let someone else hold your cute baby for a change. I'm only there for a limited time lady, I want to cuddle the bundle of precious too. Or am I only good for taking vital signs with the tiny, coo-inducing neonatal blood pressure cuff?

(Roughly 6" x 1.5")

Some people. Hrumf.

Honestly, it was a nice day. Children just aren't as complicated as adults it seems. I had a fairly easy patient though. Other students' kids spit out their meds, I just had to make sure the acetaminophen suppository stayed in long enough to melt.

I'm back

I have no good reason for going so long without posting. For a long time it was procrastination. Then it was the accumulated weight of experience unblogged; heavy indeed. Finally, it was the wistful mockery of my friends who launched a parasite blog in the comments. The posts so amused me that I let another week go by.

Speaking of parasites, a friend gave me a wonderful present Parasite Rex, a book all about parasites and the vile things they do. Great bedtime reading, if you want to dream of things squirming around inside your body.

You might have seen this clip already, but it's so frickin' cool (UPDATE: new version of the same video)